It's all dependent upon the class you have. This year my class started with 26 students with abilities ranging from mid-2nd grade to about 6th grade. I have a cluster of kiddos that have identified learning styles that require extra accommodations or assistance. I also have a cluster of kiddos who haven't been technically/legally identified but have really serious impediments to their learning. Within my class, I have all the different generalized categories we had as students once upon a time. The jocks, the nerds, the nose-pickers, the cheerleaders, the funny guy, the daydreamers. Each of them is unique and as individuals lovely. However, as a group, their dynamic is challenging.
We have good times but I'm struggling this year to muster up the same energy, patience, and excitement I've had the past two years. Now, the past two years' classes posed challenges as well, but I didn't feel they were coming from every direction all at once. Lately, at the end of each day, I often feel disappointed with or ashamed of my short fuse, inability to reach everyone, and fear that I'm not as good of a teacher as I should be. I need to remind myself that there are small victories happening here and there.
This year has been the year of parents. I am lucky to have some really amazing, wonderful parents. I need to remind myself of those parents who feel I am doing something really good for their children. They are supportive and quick to share their approval. Some are well-intentioned but a bit intense. Some like to test the waters to see how I will handle an issue. Some are just downright mean.
A small highlight of my favorite moments yet:
- At Open House this year I had a mother, who has since changed her tune since she's never seen her daughter smile so much after a day of school, who without an introduction approached me and said, "I have heard that you are a mean teacher. And not just from one person, but many. I hope my daughter will have a different experience." I just stared at her, mouth agape. I put out my hand and sweetly smiled, saying, "So nice to meet you, I'm Ms. Angel. I hope that your daughter (turning to face her daughter) will be able to make her own mind up about that after she gets to know me." The mother just glared at me. I could tell she was not pleased that she didn't get more of a reaction from me. She furrowed her brows, narrowed her eyes on my stomach and tersely retorted, "Oh, I see you are pregnant. When are you due?" Now, I had felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach but stood quietly for a moment. "No, I'm not pregnant. Maybe you heard our Art teacher is expecting." Again, she was disappointed with my response. She simply turned on her heel with her daughter in tow and left. She returned with her husband about 30 minutes later and was a completely different person. I knew then that she was going to be one to watch.
- Another parent makes it his job to show up just as I am about to leave and talk with me for about 30 minutes. For awhile, this was almost daily compounded by notes and emails regarding his daughter and her work. He had to be told by another teacher that works with his daughter that he's no longer allowed to check her grades online. He is a nice man and loves his daughter fiercely, which I can't fault him for, but he has to let her try things on her own. He's not willing to do that yet, which can be difficult at times.
- My favorite instance so far is with a student who is choosing not to do a thing to help himself and then feigns innocence on every front. A few months ago, my principal showed up at my door and asked what was on the schedule for the afternoon. I thought this seemed like an odd check-in but told her. She stepped in and said I should head into the small conference room, as a parent was waiting to see me. When I entered, there sat this mom, her son, and two other staff members. She was beet red, cigarettes hanging out of her pocket, yelling that her kid is being mistreated. I was told this was calmer than how she arrived....swearing every curse word know, slamming chairs, and so on. I kid you not, for two hours I sat in this room while she informed me that I don't know how to teach, that he ain't never had these problems before, he hates school, he hates me as his teacher, he does all of his work but I lose it on purpose, I make him stay in for recess for no reason, that I don't ever communicate with her, and the list goes on and on. I held my cool the entire meeting but fell apart as soon as she left. I have never felt so attacked since I started teaching. None of her accusations were true and the worst part was that this little kid sat through the entire thing weaving his made up story to the guidance counselor and his mom. It was terrible.
- This same mom and I had a meeting this past week again. Our guidance counselor was there as a mediator. The mom and her husband were again loaded for bear. They made it very clear that they don't think I am doing anything for their child and that he's never had issues like this before. Which, may I say, is not true. I spoke with 4 of his former teachers and they confirmed this is a pattern! She made some very insinuating comments, as did her husband. When the meeting was done, I just sighed a huge breath of relief. It was a 90 minute meeting of stress. The teacher who was with simply said to me, "It's not worth questioning or doubting what you do. You do everything you should be and no matter what, that mom has a bone to pick. Don't let ignorant people like that hurt the good you do. We need to find you tougher skin!"
The video below is one I have to share. This made me laugh out loud but then shake my head because I've been there....
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