New Year

Okay, so one of the things you are supposed to do after a New Year begins is reflect on the year that just ended. Well, one thing about that year is glaringly obvious over here on Angel Musings...I suck as a blogger. It's just not on the forefront of my mind and over time, I realize I wish I would have been more diligent about posting. A lot happened in the last year, so it's a shame I didn't keep up.

That being said, this year is a new year.

Here are a few of the goals I am trying to stick with this year.

1. Get in shape ~ ideally, 25-30 pounds.
-I know, I know. Almost everybody has this resolution, but I'm bound and determined. There are two main reasons I'm on this mission. First, I need to lose weight so that I feel better about myself on a daily basis. Whenever I've been on the heavier end of things, I haven't been comfortable with myself. Secondly, I have a wedding dress that I need to look smokin' in and only have *just* under 9 months left until this happens. I've been working out with the Kinect Biggest Loser workout for about three weeks. I've lost about 4 pounds and definitely feel things are getting a bit tighter. I have a long way to go but am trying to remind myself that I need to take it one day at a time. In addition to the Biggest Loser I've been walking EARLY in the mornings, about three times a week for 50-60 minutes. 4:40 comes too early, but it's a good way to get me up and going in the mornings. Although this past year has brought my cooking bug out, I'm trying to use that to prepare healthy meals. I started tracking what I eat this week and it definitely helps me keep my hands out of the treats in the teacher's lounge (aka as Healthy Eating Sabotage lounge). Tonight, I'm trying to make kale chips. We'll see how they work out!

2. Read More
I joined a book club over a year ago and rarely can keep up with the assigned readings. What can I say? When I get home from school and done with cooking, grad work, etc...I usually want to sit on my butt and watch mindless TV. This year, I'm trying to make a concerted effort to read more books for entertainment. Now, I'm a slow reader, so this task will take some time to really sink into. I'm hoping to increase my speed the more I read. I am supposed to have two night classes a week this semester and I have a feeling that with the reading that is required for that, I may not want to add on more. That being said, I'm trying to really hold myself to this; in fact, my students are even aware of my goal and checking in with me to keep me accountable. And believe me, 10-year-olds don't forget! When I'm done blogging tonight, I am delving into The Hunger Games. I've heard awesome things about it, so hoping I am sucked in.

3. Worry Less
This is a hard one for me. My parents point it out, my friends point it out, and Steve has pointed it out. I don't know if it's a product of birth order or just who I am. I worry. My most recent worries include:

• Wondering if I will want to teach the rest of my life and how bad it would look if I didn't even make the 5 year mark. Hand in hand with this is constantly worrying that I'm not a creative enough or innovative enough teacher. This one has been really hard to handle. It's been an especially difficult year this year. I've had parent interactions that still blow my mind, students who have no clue what respect means or how to demonstrate it, and a million new "to-do"s to finish. By nature, I tend to want to do it all. However, with the idea of having a family drifting nearer to the surface than ever before, I just don't know if I CAN do it. I am so personally affected by what takes place at school and it's hard for me to set a boundary. For the sake or our relationship, I try to keep my school stories to a minimum on a daily basis with Steve. Now, more than ever, I recognize how consumed I can become with work.
• What if I can't have babies. Okay, we know I'm fertile. For goodness sake, I have a twelve year old! However, that was twelve years ago when I was 21 and in awesome shape. We are by no means starting a family right out the gate, but since we think we want more than one kiddo, we will want to start relatively soon. The idea of trying to have a baby and not would be devastating for anybody, I know. And being adopted, you would think I'd be all for adopting a baby if we couldn't naturally conceive. Yet, I'm on the fence about this. I think a lot of it stems from placing the one person I know I have a blood tie for adoption and not ever having another blood tie to speak of. It's weird, but true.
• Friendships. With the dawn of my relationship with Steve, my friendships have changed. In some cases, it's that we all have new things in our lives. New babies, addition to one kiddo in a family, new jobs, moving, and all those other life instances that fall upon us throughout life. I often worry that my friends think that I'm "that girl" that has ditched them in lieu of time with my guy. I'll be honest...do I want to spend a lot of my free time with Steve, yes. However, I do still want to have my friendships. With this year of classroom chaos, wedding planning, and grad school, my time is strapped. And I know the same is true for friends. So, it comes down to planning more actively to get together. There are a few of my closest friends that I haven't seen since late summer. That is NOT OKAY.
• Wedding stuff. I do not consider myself the crafty sort, so I really worry that I won't be able to streamline all of the cool ideas I've seen into one fluid theme. I know it's our day, but I also want it to look amazing and be amazing. We are slowly hammering out the details. One of the other parts that is causing concern is the limitation of our space. I feel terrible because a few people have mentioned that look forward to it or have asked for a date confirmation. Unfortunately, we can't invite all of the people we'd like to and are worried we'll hurt people's feelings. It's not that we don't want them to be there, but we have a space limitation (which we originally loved, but could use 10 more seats!). 

4. Take more pictures. This was a hobby that I intensely fell into a few years ago but have allowed it to slip away. I know there are a bunch of projects going around and I have friends that are doing them. I am not ready to really commit to quite that level yet. However, I'm thinking a picture a week would be doable. I even have one for today!

My stand-in anniversary gift to Steve. We both have a slight Diet Coke addiction. I put each of these in their own bag, wrote a little story, and told the tale of our first year together with the size of the Diet Coke corresponding to our love. Cheesy, campy, and corny...yes! 

5. Be more positive. I have so much to be thankful and happy about that this goal is necessary. I tend to be pessimistic more often than not these days; some of which I attribute to being overtired and stressed. However, this is no way to live life! Thus, the glass is half FULL. I'm going to try to see the positive in situations first! I catch myself, sometimes, mid-negative and need to step back and stop. Now, realistically, does this mean I'll become Pollyanna? No. Will I still vent to Steve or my girlfriends about frustrations, heck yeah. But, will I try to focus more on the positive and not allow negativity to seep. Yes.

So, there you have it. A little bit about my goals. I hope you are doing well with yours! Off to nosh on my kale chips and get reading!

Goodnight, all!