Isn't this Colorado plateau a gorgeous sight? The curves and colors make it so unique; it is breathtaking. Also breathtaking is my plateau. This one isn't causing a sharp intake of breath because of its grandeur so much as it's frustrating!
So, since late December I've been working at my weight loss journey. It's definitely mimicked the peaks and valleys of the plateau shown above. In the last few weeks, I've been really diligent about tracking my food (watching, especially, the amount of fat, protein, and carbs), doing something exercise-oriented at least 6 of the 7 days, and trying to catch up on sleep.
All of these are challenging for me. I am trying to make good decisions every day and weigh my choices when it comes to food and why I'm eating it. I've been trying to keep more active ~ even did some squats in the grocery store while waiting for Steve in one of the aisles (I realize that's a little weird...but I was bored and the urge hit me!). We are eating healthier than we were, being very mindful of balancing our meals. I have cut back on Diet Coke and am trying to boost my water intake drastically. I am also trying to drink water or chew gum when I have a sugar craving, because I have a TERRIBLE sweet tooth that just will not die. and I don't want to hate my eating plan, so won't completely cut sweets out of my diet but rather find healthier substitutes than what I would normally eat.
I started the Ease into 5K and Boot Camp programs and am sticking to them pretty seriously...but more on that later. I can say that I've been giving them my all, especially with the running. It's not easy, but I've surprised myself, especially since it's been over 4 years since I've run consistently.
Sleep has always been a tough one. I often sleep around 6 hours or less, getting up at least once in the middle of the night. It's rarely restful sleep, which always causes a problem for energy. This summer, I've been heading to bed a little earlier and shooting for a solid 7 to 8 hours. I still wake up in the middle of the night, but not as much as I was during the school year.
Anyhow, I feel like I'm stuck. I just can't seem to get below 145.5. I know that I'm building muscle...to some degree I can feel it, but at the same time, I feel stuck. I am working harder at this than I have in years, and it's not changing. From Dec - Feb, I lost 14 pounds, then fluctuated a bit, and am now STUCK. A few people have commented on how they can see a change, which of course is motivating, but I have yet to really see it or feel it. I would think 16 pounds shed would make a huge difference!
The other part of it is mental conditioning. I still think I look fat, so then start to wonder if I have a completely skewed vision of myself. Did I think I look better than I did? I've lost weight and still look big, so what did I look like before this and how did I not see it? How does an extra 30 pounds happen in 3 years and you don't realize/notice it?!? Are people embarrassed of me? Will I always feel uncomfortable when friends/family see their own personal weight loss successes while I'm seeing little to none? Will I always be a bit jealous/resentful that I'm not as successful? When does the comparing stop?
I know many people say things to try to make it easier to deal with. "Steve will love you no matter what size you are" or sentiments similar to that, but it really comes down to Can I love myself regardless of my size and shape? I don't know; sometimes it's hard in a visual/media-driven world! I'm trying though...
I guess my question is how do you persevere through a plateau? How do you push through the barrier of stagnation in a weight loss journey?
Any advice, words of wisdom, suggestions?
Picture courtesy of: National Geographic
I so know how you feel!! I am working out more then I ever have in my life and It is hard for me to lose any weight. It took me at least 5 months of running to see the scale move a few pounds and it has stalled again. It is hard to get up at 4:30 am to run when I don't see the scale move BUT we have to keep telling ourselves that we are doing this to make ourselves healthy and as we build more muscle things will change. We are making lifestyle choices and it just takes a while for our bodies to change. I am very proud of you and keep up the good work :)
ReplyDeleteSo many parts of this post really hit home to me. Especially your paragraph about mental conditioning. ALL of your questions are questions I have had -- and STILL have to be quite honest with you....
ReplyDeleteI think as women, we are taught to be competitive with each other -- and that makes us uncomfortable when we see others succeeding at things that we are struggling with. Even when I AM succeeding at things, I find myself jealous or uncomfortable when I see others doing the same -- when I KNOW I should be proud of them and happy for them! I actually have to give myself a mental kick and ask 'what the heck is wrong with you, stef?' So, while I don't think the comparing ever stops, I think our mental conditioning just helps us cope with that.
With that said, I WANT you to succeed. And you CAN. I KNOW you can. I've seen you do it before. You have a strength and willpower inside you that is fierce! But, you just have to remember that right now, you are in a different place than you were when you went through this last time. It's always going to be different, but this time you are juggling a LOT more things in your life. You will power through this. I KNOW you will. I guess you will just have to trust me.
I have two suggestions. You don't have to take/use them, but here they are:
1) you are proabbly already doing this, but take measurements. They will be much more accountable to you than what the scale tells you. Especially since you are probably losing fat and replacing that with lean muscle mass which weighs more than fat. So, the scale won't move in that case...but your measurements WILL. Have Steve take pictures for motivation. I really thought they wouldn't be motivating, but they ARE!
2) Set a smaller goal than your final goal -- like 5 more lbs or 1 inch off your hips or something similar. And once you reach that, do something that is a complete spoil/treat to yourself. A trip to the spa for a full day of pampering. A splurge at the store. A piece of chocolate cake. Whatever your little heart desires...set that as your goal, and don't let yourself have it until you reach the 5 lbs or 1 inch or whatever you set for yourself.
I really CAN see a change in you -- you look amazing to me! But I totally understand about loving yourself with your current shape and size. I think we will always think there is something wrong with our bodies and always try to fix something. I hit my goal weight and I STILL hate parts of my body. When does it end? I don't know. Like you said, we have to mentally condition ourselves and just TRY.
Love you. Sorry for the novena. :)
Hi ladies,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the support! It's just one day at a time and I'm not always that patient. I needed to get it out of my system and down on virtual paper, so I remember my feelings if and when I hit this frame of mind again. I figured it was safe since only a handful of people read my blog.
In my last check-in, I decided that if I don't make the full 30 pound loss, that's okay. I'm at this point going for just getting back into the 130s, which is 5 pounds away.
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...